Setting goals and expectations during pregnancy and in the postpartum period can be a difficult thing, especially in your first pregnancy & postpartum period. Often in your first pregnancy and postpartum period you will be going off what you’ve read and what you’ve heard from your friends and family…and it’s entirely possible that you will have a completely different experience than what you are thinking or expecting. Knowing what your expectations are and how to set realistic goals will help improve your confidence as you strive to be your best self during this time. Learning to manage your expectations during this phase of your life can help you avoid disappointment and can help you cope better when things don’t pan out the way you were looking for them to.
Setting unrealistic expectations can help you to find inner peace and help you know that you are doing the best that you can no matter what situation comes your way. During the pregnancy and postpartum period there are a lot of variables that can wreak havoc on those expectations and although there are some things that we can control, many are out of our hands. It’s important to focus on the things that you can control and to accept and deal with as best you can the things that you can’t control. During your pregnancy you may suffer from fatigue or morning sickness which may impact your fitness goals throughout your pregnancy. You may experience complications that prevent you from doing any exercise at all or you may just be uncomfortable doing exercise. All of these things may be out of your control (or slightly out of your control) and may negatively impact the expectations you had for your fitness goals during your pregnancy. In the postpartum period you may be recovering from a C-section, or an episiotomy, you may be struggling with adjustments and you are likely sleeping less.
It’s important to remember that not every day will be a day to work towards your goal. Pregnancy is a time to focus on maintenance when it comes to your fitness goals. It’s not likely that you will be gaining huge amounts of strength, lifting heavier than you’ve ever lifted and you should not be concerned with weight loss during this time. In the postpartum phase it’s important to remember that caring for a newborn requires full time attention.
As you adjust to these changes in your life know that no matter what life is going to happen and ideally it’s best to take it in stride and handle it as best we can. Instead of creating expectations focus on pouring your energy into doing the very best you can. Each day you are going to be dealt a different hand; one day you may feel on top of the world because you were super productive and the next day it may be a struggle to keep the baby looked after. Know that both are okay. Focusing our effort on doing the best we can in either situation can help us maintain a positive attitude, build confidence and keep us moving forward.
It’s easy to sit back and say that you aren’t going to set expectations for your pregnancy and postpartum experience but odds are that it is going to happen at least to some extent…so how do we keep these expectations realistic and positive? Here are a few tips if you find yourself setting expectations for your pregnancy and postpartum experience;
- Remember that every day is different – some days you may be able to keep up with those expectations but odds are you won’t be able to do it everyday
- Give yourself grace – honestly…you are a rockstar momma, but sometimes things aren’t going to pan out the way you want them, don’t beat yourself up in those moments
- Be flexible – the expectations or goals that you have at one point during your pregnancy or postpartum journey may have to change and that’s okay. Be flexible, and allow these things to change so that you can best adapt to the current situation
- Start a gratitude practice – finding something to be grateful for each and every day can help you accept the days when you don’t fulfill your expectations. Gratitude will remind you that even if you feel short of your expectations, you still have many things to be grateful for
- Consider your lifestyle – don’t set any expectations or goals for yourself until you have taken your lifestyle into consideration. It’s important to know that things will ebb and flow and you will need to consider how your lifestyle changes during pregnancy and postpartum before setting any expectations for yourself
- Change your perspective – remember that fitness doesn’t always have to happen in a gym and take some time to realize how active you are being throughout the day. As your kiddos get older and are more mobile you will likely be on the move more than you even realize…and movement is a good thing, so don’t neglect it just because it didn’t happen in the gym
Remember that when it comes to expectations there are a lot of variables at play and it’s important to know that these things can change through your pregnancy, into postpartum and beyond. Notice which variables you can control and what’s outside of your control and focus on the things you can control (there are plenty of things outside of your control during the pregnancy and postpartum phases). Allow yourselves the opportunity to adjust so you aren’t left feeling disappointed and disheartened. Don’t allow your expectations to steal your joy out of any experience and find the good in every day!
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